“If its called Tourist Season then why can’t we shoot them?”

From June to September Myrtle Beach is plagued by tourists. I have never had a problem with these visitors until this year. As I spend more time out and about I am realizing just how rude these tourists really are.

RESTAURANTS:

Every restaurant in town (even the ones missing ceiling tiles and have water damage on the floors) are packed to capacity and there is a minimum of one hour to wait. Even KFC runs out of chicken in a matter of hours.

Prime Example:

Nicholas and I headed out to Burro Loco two nights ago to enjoy our last meal before the summer rush began and we were too late. The line was out the door and we were told it would be about 45 minutes. We were in no rush and sat outside. Inside 50 out of towner’s were shoving each other around just to grab a spot on the bench or a spot closer to the air conditioning vent. We didn’t wait long as our little buzzer thing started going off.

We made our way through the sweaty crowd to get to the hostess. She was busy dealing with a lady on our right with a heavy boston accent complaining that her party of eight needed to be seated immediately. The hostess was polite in explaining that there was a party of eight before her, which of course was exactly not what that woman wanted to hear. Uproar.

A lady on my left whose little thing was flashing saw us waiting with our flashy thing and preceded to try and push me out of the way to get up to the front first. I just laughed and in her earshot told Nicholas how rude tourists could be. The lady did not even bother to notice that she was looking for a table for 4 and we were only a party of 2; therefore we weren’t stealing her table. I let her walk right in front of me. In the end when we finally sat down, Nicholas enjoyed numerous margaritas and we sat and had a great time.

So the question I ask is this, why the need for tourists to be such crazy mofos when they are visiting? Pushing people out of the way and being complete belligerent? I don’t recall acting in such a way when I visited here some years ago. Isn’t a vacation supposed to be a time to slow down and relax?

DRIVING:

Tourist also clog the roads. I think there should be a specific lane for tourists to drive in on all roads. They speed up, then slow down, speed up then slow down. Pick a speed limit already!! They stop short because they don’t know where they are going and never use blinkers. I hate any person that doesn’t know how to use blinkers. Take the extra second out of your day to hit the switch!

Prime Example:

Driving down Business 17 at 1 pm and I am stuck behind a car from Tennessee. The driver is a heavy set woman and she is obviously carrying along her entire family tree in that little Subaru station wagon. The speed limit is 40 and she is going 25 pointing at the bingo spot. She then, with no blinker might I add, flies all the way to the left to pull into Dairy Queen and about takes out a car in oncoming traffic. What the hell was she thinking?

Walking (Boulevard)

Tourists forget basic concepts that you learn in first grade.
Red means STOP!
Green means GO!
Look Both ways before you cross the street!
Use Crosswalks!

The boulevard is a booby trap for people who are walking around. Sidewalks and crosswalks were created for a reason. They go running across the street right in front of traffic and if you don’t stop they look at you like you have just done something wrong. They have their sh1t backwards.

Prime Example:

Today on my way to work I almost took out at least three people because they think that I am going to come to complete stop so their fat a$$ can jay walk across the street. I’m sorry but if you see me coming and try to walk out in front of me going 30 mph, I will hit you and it will be your fault for not paying attention. One old man didn’t even look in my direction and shook his head at me as I passed him. Look both ways old man or your life may come to end sooner than your doctor predicted.

<end rant>

So why do you (as a local) dislike tourist season? Why do you like this time of the year?